No matter how hard I convince myself that I am not bothered by what others say or do, in reality it does bother and I do care. As a born again believer I know what it means to be content but sometimes I feel the urge to peek into what others are up to. I know I am not alone and there are many who feel the same way. The bible challenges us to work towards seeking God’s approval and not man’s (Galatians 1:10). And the truth is, no matter how much ever we try, we can never win everyone’s approval. God didn’t make us all the same way and although we are all created in His image, we are unique in how we think, perceive and conduct things so it would be naïve to think that somehow it is possible to please everyone. What a relief!
But still why do we try to seek approval in the first place – to win more friends, for better social standing or for material gains. Or are we simply seeking validation for the decisions we make. It may be for any one of those reasons but I doubt it has anything to do with seeking God’s validation. As a mother, I find myself constantly comparing to others to see where I stand and whenever I come across someone who is more skilled and resourceful than me, I feel inadequate and all my shortcomings seem amplified. But the Bible challenges us to examine our own work and not that of others (Galatians 6:4). Where we stand before God is more important than the façade we may put for the world. God sees through it all so instead of examining how we excel or fail in comparison to others we ought to measure ourselves to how Christ like we are in our walk with God and then we can truly rejoice in what God does through us.
Sometimes I wish I could live in a bubble and not see everyone as a competition. Although that sounds good in theory, I don’t think I can display Christ like qualities in such an environment. It is very easy to be content when there is no one to compare your life with. The real test of contentment comes when you can clearly see how others are doing and learn to seek contentment with what the Lord has portioned you with. This requires a change of heart, something that is difficult to achieve on our own but can be realised by Gods help.
In addition to creating discontentment, comparison can also cause us to believe certain lies. Lies such as – only our struggles matter and others are simply exaggerating. When such thoughts come, I ask myself compared to who? Chances are that I will always find myself better off than someone else if I am willing to see beyond my own struggles. Becoming obsessed with one’s own problems is a dangerous path to go down as this will only harbour resentment and lack of empathy towards others. The bible reminds us to encourage one another every day (Hebrews 3:13), not only when we feel good about ourselves but even on days we feel inadequate. When faced with struggles due to comparison, discontentment we must ask for God’s help in dismissing these lies that we may believe about ourselves or others. While I continue to work in this area of my life, I acknowledge my struggles and I choose to lean on Jesus who alone can help me overcome the desire to compare and be content.
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.
2 Timothy 2:15(ESV)
