When my eldest child started school, it felt so normal. Like I was doing what was expected. Gave myself a pat on the back for choosing the best school for her. And I would just repeat the same with my other two. I felt I had mapped out the best route to successful education! Until one day my peace was robbed and I just couldn’t ignore this feeling in my heart and a voice telling me that something was not right. It started off as a gentle tug and soon turned into something that I just couldn’t shake off.
I am friends with few homeschooling families whom I admired greatly for what they did on a daily basis for their kids. But I admired them from a safe distance. I would time and again ask them questions about homeschooling but never really understood their desire behind it. I just came to the conclusion that perhaps the Lord had called them to homeschool and most certainly He was not calling me to do the same (a huge sigh!). So while we agreed on most Christian values and doctrines I thought perhaps we have different views on education. I didn’t think one way was better than the other but deep in my heart I was quite comfortable (and relieved) with the idea of letting my kids go somewhere else to be trained by strangers to become a better version of themselves instead of me having to do it at home on a full time basis!
Each day I would get my kids ready for school, ensure their homework was done, drop one to school and then rush to drop the other one at preschool. Meanwhile still stuck with a baby and I had nowhere to drop him so he just came along with me. Soon he too would be on his way to school and I will finally have few hours to myself and catchup on all the things that would make me an amazing mom, an amazing wife and an amazing Christian (I had it all planned:)). Now I had some free time on my hands. I had time but somehow it felt sad coming to an empty home. I could get things done but it felt uninspiring without any challenges to overcome. And as my afternoon alarm would go off, I was back on my parenting duties; collect the kids from their temporary shelters, prepare dinner, mediate sibling issues, and then just to cross off being a good Christian parent throw some bible verses at them and hoped for the Sunday school to do the rest. Life was predictable and there was a sense of safety in that routine.
I often wondered what a typical day was like for my homeschooling friends, but then again that’s their calling and not mine. And then one day it hit me what my parenting had been reduced to, I realized all that I did was chauffeur my kids, drop them and collect them from wherever they went that day. None of their experiences were my experiences and none of mine were theirs. We were these individuals who although lived in the same house but we all had majority of the day leading completely different lives. We would regroup in the evening and hoped to have the best bonding time in those few hours before bedtime. On top of that I was forever trying to ensure that my kids fit the description of whatever the school expected them to be or what their peers were like. And if they missed the standards set by the school or peers then surely something was wrong with my kids. Even though I knew that God has made us all unique but somehow I didn’t apply this truth to their education and expected each of my kids to fit the mold created by the school system which has nothing to do with God’s standards.
Still my heart hoped and prayed that the Lord would guide them where ever they went. So what if my kids hung out with other kids who didn’t come from Christian homes. They are still good kids. So what if my kids are taught by teachers who don’t hold a Christian worldview, surely the Lord will use them to be the light and salt in the classroom and in the playground. I comforted myself with these words. And if friends do become a problem, I will make sure I put them in as many activities as possible so that they mix with the right crowd. And if school is the problem, I will take them to lots of church activities and hope for the Lord to do His work there. And if the peer influence becomes too much, I will challenge them to study hard so that they are more focused on academic excellence and would be too busy to be bothered with anything else. Sounds good right! Ha! My homeschooling friends what do they know… I have it all figured out!!! Another high five!
I am well aware that we live in a sinful world. The bible speaks of the evil days and how the world will do anything to do away with God and His standards. I know the truth yet I don’t actively do anything about it. As an adult I sometimes struggle to defend my faith if my Christian worldview gets challenged. But as an adult I have the common sense to walk away or stay and defend (if I am able to) and even call on legal rights to fight against situations like this. I suddenly put my child into that situation and wondered how she would cope. How could she deal with opposing worldviews if she doesn’t know what to expect and how to respond. And the honest truth is the time after school is simply not enough. Was God asking me to homeschool? Is this what a calling feels like? The burden grew so deep in my heart that every day dropping my child to school was a torture. I felt like my eyes were opened and yet I was walking like a blind person. Why did I have to hear this calling? Surely everything would have turned out fine, after all I came from an unbelieving home and the Lord sought me out. But with parenting God gives us this amazing opportunity to be used by Him for Him. The book Parenting by Paul Tripp beautifully explains how we are like tools in God’s hands and how He can use us to bring about a change in our children’s lives pointing them to Christ all along. Now I was left with two options – 1. I could whole heartedly submit to His will and obey Him or 2. Hope for His will to work in my favour. Either way His will is what will ultimately come to fruition but the real question was am I going to allow Him to use me to achieve His purpose in the lives of my children.
I was still not convinced about homeschooling being a calling. So with a shaky feet I began homeschooling my kids 4 years back and every day I have needed God’s grace to push through the various hurdles, appreciate this incredible opportunity and come to terms with having to deal with my own failures before tackling my kids’. I searched the scriptures to find something that might give me the freedom to believe that if things don’t work out then they can just go back to school. 4 yrs on and I am yet to find a single verse that supports sending kids to an establishment for the majority of the day that is fundamentally unbiblical in their approach to learning and teaching. I couldn’t understand how even for a brief period of time I was comfortable with subscribing to this assembly line mode of education where the emphasis is always about conforming to a standard that cares nothing about God or His ways.
The Bible teaches us that the primary purpose of education is to know God and His creation which can freely and easily happen in a Christian environment where you can question, seek clarifications and have your thoughts voiced without any prejudice. And the Bible holds the parent responsible for the way their children are trained and discipled. This was my “ta-da” moment. I was not called out among the many and given this special responsibility to homeschool my kids. I was not chosen by God because of my educational qualifications, I was chosen despite it. It was not like I am a natural teacher and pupils under my guidance will achieve academic excellence. I was not called out. We somehow think God calls the equipped but the truth is that whoever God calls, He will equip them. The call to homeschool is for anyone who desire to bring up their kids in the Christian faith and to do so in the most organic manner.
The real turning point in my life was when I accepted God’s will and in humility obeyed His command. I am not special, but the Lord who I trust in is special. My kids are not special but they are special and precious to the Lord. The Lord put them in my care to point them to Him and restore the relationship between them and their Saviour and when it comes down to it I cannot think of any safer place to achieve this than at HOME!
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deuteronomy 6:4
